I had not intended to post tonight, as I have many tasks to complete for Saturday's meeting, preferably while the wife and kids are sleeping. However, some comments on my previous post were so amazing and on the mark, that I must write a bit. I'm sorry if you have to flop back and forth between the comments and my replies, but you'll manage. You're a smart bunch.
Jenny's comment was astounding. In three paragraphs, she explained my wife's fears and behavior in a way I haven't managed to in 200-plus blog entries. In Mrs. Leslie's mind, she is fighting for her way of life. She is utterly dependent on me, and is as protective of her children as any mama bear. She is scratching and clawing as gently as she can to keep what was promised to her a quarter century ago when we married. The newly found epilator represents interference from the outside, from an unknown source that she imagines is feeding me some line of guff, leading me down a primrose path. Totally wrong, of course, but that is her worst fear.
My new pal Claire hits some similar notes. A petty thing to fight about, indeed. I hope to have the talk she describes very soon, as I believe Mrs. L is overdue for some reinforcement from me. Incidentally, I am hopeful that Claire will begin blogging soon, so all of you can enjoy her humor and wisdom. I'm doing all I can to encourage her.
To clarify, Mrs. L has said nothing about the epilator. I only know that she investigated the return address from the packing slip, and checked out prices of the device online. Perhaps this is what anyone would do. Heaven knows I would have done at least that much, and likely much more. But, I'm a nosy Nellie.
Ms. Shandy has a future in comedy writing. Not only was her script a perfect analogy for my situation, it demonstrates the insanity of even thinking of fighting about such mundane things. At this point, I'm going to guess that there will be no fight. Whatever anger she might have had should've calmed by now. My hope is that my worries were unfounded, and this will all come down to mere venting on my part.
Amy and Melissa, you take this so personally! This tells me how much you care for me, and I hope I convey the same to you. Now, take a stress pill.
And lastly, Jerica, thanks for taking the time to comment. I've been trying to comment on your vlogs, and your page is behaving very badly. I have tried repeatedly to comment, without success, and I note that no one else is leaving comments either. Your page loads very slowly, like it's struggling. I'm not sure if it's your template or some widget that's taxing your page, but you need to look into it. I have things I need to say there!
Thank you all for caring and sharing, ladies.
Musings: It's All About Community
5 hours ago
You're welcome, hun. Maybe I did need to take a chill pill, however I don't think that's the case with Melissa. She made a lot of sense and expressed her thoughts and feelings very calmly, logically and succinctly, as she has a knack for doing. She's the voice of reason, I think. :)
ReplyDeleteIt is always nice dear Leslie, to see you manage your way from places of despair to a state of resolve and clarity.
ReplyDeleteYou always do, and it is lovely to see you spread the thanks around to the nice people who help you.
Have a terrific day en femme. Very happy for you.
Petra
I do think looking up the person who sent you the gift is totally natural, given the circumstances. I'm gad too that she hasn't confronted you about it.
ReplyDeleteThis situation does illustrate something a bit unfortunate though. She found an epilator. So far, so good. She finds the packing slip and gets curious about who sent it. That's fine too. But here is where I wish things could have been different. She looks it up online instead of being comfortable asking you about it. And you find out based only on internet history.
There's still some blocks in communication, and it leaves you each wondering what the other is doing and feeling. Its creating unnecessary anxiety on both sides. This whole thing could have been demystified with a little chat I think.
Wow, it sounds like I'm contradicting myself, but really I am. Hehe!
ReplyDeleteWhat I mean is that, it would be natural to get curious about who sent it, and lots of people would probably do a little investigating. If after that though, she still has questions, she should feel comfortable discussing it with you, and vice versa. There. :P
Hushing!
I must say that Jenny hit it on the head. I can so see this all going down in my world, and I too am the proud owner of an epilator and one of those who pushed for you to acquire one.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, my SO would say it is about deceit, where the whole truth isn't being told and information is deliberately being withheld. I would then get the "I tell you everything, while you keep your life hidden from me." As for my legs, well what if someone else sees it, what will they think, as it is not acceptable in the group of friends we have. They may not think your trans, but they will come up with some story on their own. Oh I would also hear, 'if its not a big thing then why not tell me, while all the time you knew it was wrong and continued to hide it."
I could go on and on, my SO has said she expects me to leave although things have been pretty decent lately so, I haven't been getting the third degree. As in all things this too will blow over after some heated discussion, you will both gain more insight to the other, and at the same time it will weaken things a bit too. In the end you will have to decide, on what side of the fence you will sit. I can tell you sitting at the top of the fence on your ass is definitely a pain in the ass, and it is one that never goes away.
Oh the trials and tribulations of duality and all it brings.
Good luck
B
Any time, glad to be of service.
ReplyDeleteHi Leslie!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the note. That's awfully weird....I still receive plenty of comments on the blog itself and on youtube as well. That's quite frustrating considering I don't have an easy way to duplicate your trouble. What browser are you using?
*hugs*
<3 Jerica