A very busy weekend.
Off to a state park with my son for scout camping. I was dreading this, as I have never camped previously. Happy to report that it wasn't half bad. Arrived in early afternoon, and the waking part of the day was enjoyable. Erected the tent without much help, and helped put up a canopy as well, under which the cookng would occur. Using my hands is always very good for my outlook. I don't do a lot in that regard, but big projects always make me feel accomplished, like I've done something worthwhile and tangible.
I didn't know most of the people, but I got on very well with almost everyone. Connecting with new people is normally very difficult for me (and them). I think Leslie was very near the surface, despite appearances. Spent some quality time bonding with the ladies, but got good man time as well.
Now, the night was another story. The day was warm and lovely, the night beautiful but cloudless, and the temps dropped rapidly. The tent site was less than level, and the ground hard and unforgiving. I didn't sleep well. My son had me up at 1am and 5am for bathroom trips. The restrooms were about 200 yards away, so we had to suit up pretty snugly for the walks. After the first trip, I laid awake for nearly two hours.
My boy enjoyed the event, and I don't regret it. Kinda liked a lot of aspects. At least, I won't fear doing it next time.
When I got home, I collapsed and slept three hours. I could've gone much longer, but I needed to file my taxes. They must be in the mail by Thursday, so this was the last day I could really dig into it. I used tax software of my mother's, as I have the last several years. This means collecting all my stuff and taking it over to my parents' place. It took me five or six hours to complete everything, largely because I was missing things that I needed. I made two trips back home to get things, and called home several times for other info. Exhausting, but happy to have it in the rear view now. We're getting refunds from the feds and the state, so all's well.
All this made for a harder weekend for Mrs. Leslie, who leans heavily on me those days most weeks. I didn't cook any meals or wash dishes this Sunday, so she was quite harried. We will have to have a talk before too long. I think she has therapy Wednesday, so ideally before that. You'll hear it here first.
Musings: It's All About Community
5 hours ago
I have one piece of advice: inflatable mattress!
ReplyDeleteNothing wrong with having your girl side close to the surface and bonding with the ladies. Happened to me spontaneously a few weeks ago at a mate's birthday party and was a wonderful experience.
Hi Leslie,
ReplyDeleteI had tried to leave a comment on your recent incredible blogs but under the new settings it took days- don't worry I worked on it. So I needed to email- but that bounced.
My God, I cannot believe the sudden collapse in your life- and perhaps how lonely you must feel right now, and then the apparent resurfacing.
First I really hope you and your wife can get to a better place that works for you both, whether that is together or apart. You both deserve to be happy.
Second, be reassured that your friends are here to help. Don't be isolated, but talk or email- we want to be here for you; even if its just to allow you to hear another voice. You are an intelligent and caring person-don't forget that, remember that others value and respect you-don't doubt it, don't question your self worth.
Third, keep perspective, listen to your friends but also take time to consider your actions, whatever you choose you can only burn your bridges once. Things often need a bit of time to sort themselves out and big gestures can be dramatically rewarding but the reward is transient. Hold your head high. You perhaps know where this will go but you will feel better for doing the right thing over the next period, where ever the journey takes you.
I wish I could do more, but do so without making a bad situation worse. if I lived in the US perhaps I would fly down and see you-but that's not an option.
So I feel for you (and Mrs L too), but remember you are a fine person that people care for. If you need to email in the middle of the night over the next days your friends are not far away (a mere 5000 miles)- don't get isolated!
love
Claire