The other shoe has yet to drop. A good week altogether, with the holiday keeping my mind busy on other things.
Then, today, I said something to Mrs. Leslie about her having a glass of wine at home. I didn't mean anything critical by it, I just thought she was going to be driving later on. Yet, she took it as critical, and snapped at me that I have been rather judgmental of her lately. I kept my cool, told her I didn't realize I had been striking an attitude, but said I would try to temper it.
Nothing further was said on the subject, but I quickly began a slide into my dark place, questioning my own worth and my love for my wife. In truth, there has been a lot of tension between us all week, since the wig incident. There wasn't a lot of affection before that, but there has been no warmth at all since. She seems to be holding back, and I suppose I am doing the same.
We went out to eat late. I was fully expecting there to be accusations thrown about, but nothing developed. Just a quiet meal with polite conversation, the elephant being skillfully avoided by us both, talking of anything but that which was foremost in our minds. I am certain the dam will give way soon. When it does, I intend to discuss the Halloween party, the wig discord, and my suspicions on the existence of a breakup plan. So many things are unsaid at present, and much needs addressing.
Musings: It's All About Community
5 hours ago
My advice would be to do it sooner than later. A sort of Festavis airing of grievances. Save the feats of strength for another time though, or better still, maybe never!
ReplyDeleteMelissa XX
I know I'm only getting one side of this story but it seems one party is questioning behavior, making demands, barking orders...well, you get the picture. The other party makes a comment and all hell breaks loose? I dunno. Is it really this one sided? You know the best way to identify a one way street is to watch the direction of traffic.
ReplyDeleteI spent years walking on eggshells and apologizing for mere existence. In hind sight....well, it's 20/20 for sure. You're bringing back bad memories. I'm gonna go smoke some catnip and mellow out now.
Peace,
Tina
This could be us at times. We usually end up with a good big shouty row that clears the air wonderfully. I hope you can too.
ReplyDeleteBut Mrs. J and I are still hopefully on the same wavelength. Are you and Mrs. L, and most importantly, what outcome do you really want?
Festivus! Sign me up for the feats of strength!
ReplyDeleteIn seriousness though, Jenny and Melissa seem right. You probably should clear the air. It could be good for you both. I think that your fear of confrontation is partially responsible for the one way street street situation Tina mentions.
Do it now!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteA month before christmas leaves time for the dust to settle and even time for Mrs L to consider finding you a present.
Take the present and cast it on the floor and use it as a token for divination to see exactly what it tells you about the inner workings of her mind, she may be canny with words but actions speak louder.
My heart goes out to you Leslie.
Caroline xxx
You will need to clear the air, you are too sensitive to survive in a tense atmosphere, but think first. What do you want? What will you do if she pulls back or drives ahead? Give yourself some consideration, so that you are not just reacting to statements in an argument, or scoring points...like me!
ReplyDeleteJenny echoed my comment....or perhaps I'm echoing her comment? Oh, heck, you know what I mean.
ReplyDelete