Showdown at the I'm OK, You're Ok Corral

We sorta aired it out today. The therapist treated it like a couples session, but my wife wasn't playing along. She answered a few questions, but mostly asked pointed questions about what would satisfy me, what my end goal is. She remains convinced that shaving my legs against her express wishes was crossing the line. She compared it to a woman getting breast augmentation or a nose job. She seems to believe that the hair won't grow back or something. I'd sure save a lot on razors if it didn't.

She literally thinks that shaving my legs means that I am intent on getting SRS. I don't know that I can overcome willful ignorance of this sort. She wants me to be medicated to treat my anxiety and depression, more than I already am. I told her that I preferred to treat the cause of my depression (hairy legs), rather than treat the symptom (depression).

She reiterated that she prefers to end the marriage now, rather than be broadsided in five or ten years when I decide to go it alone. I told her that that might be for the best. I said that I'm not sure there's an island out there that's common to our two oceans.

My therapist likes the whole contract idea, though she thought ours to be a bit vague. She'd like us to return with lists of what we want from the other, to give us a starting point for negotiations. I'm not sure my wife will go for another session. She thinks it's wrong to get couples counseling from my individual counselor. There is the appearance of a conflict of interest, even if it doesn't show itself.

I think my list of wants would have to include recognition of Leslie as a person ( the Israel clause). Freedom to have occasional outings with friends. First dibs on any clothing being given away. Perhaps the freedom to have a weekend at home as Leslie, if we could kennel the kids somewhere. Maybe y'all have some ideas. But I think it's an empty exercise, as the wife won't go back there. She's been real quiet since the session, laid in the bed for a couple hours while I fed the kids. Probably doing some crying, but I didn't get close enough to tell. I think I fired a shot over her bow today, and she's going to have to figure out if she wants to do battle.