As things have been relatively calm of late, my subconscious has decided to stir thing up a bit, so that I might have something dramatic to write about.
I've been reading Kate Bornstein's My Gender Workbook, and it's a great book. It's not a great book...to leave at your (shared) workstation last Friday, only to find it on another nearby desk Thursday. I had not missed it, as it lives under my driver's seat, away from the family's prying eyes. I was out sick Tuesday and Wednesday. Now I'm unsure how to proceed.
I don't know who found the book, but it had been found by someone. I don't know if they set it aside quietly, or had a big group hoot about the unknown owner, or a hoot specifically about me, the last person working there. I retrieved the book after the place emptied. I work alone most evenings, so I had a lot of time to think.
No one said anything that I could remotely take as a knowing remark. Either remarkable sensitivity on their part, or maybe the finder realized this wasn't joke material. I should mention that the station I share is with my supervisor (important, no?). I've known him for fifteen years, and we share a lot of pop culture/sports common ground, as well as finely tuned senses of humor.
The question: Do I take him aside, and confide in him (sworn to secrecy, of course)? Or pretend to know nothing, though the book disappearing tonight points the finger at me? Is damage control even possible? Am I better off leaving an unknown number of people to wonder what my story is, or do I take a chance and share with my supervisor, at least to find out how the discovery went down?
And this certainly adds a new dimension to the pierced ears that were likely coming this summer... Any and all input is welcome. I'm deeply divided on how to handle this.
Musings: It's All About Community
5 hours ago
It depends on what you want to happen.
ReplyDeleteThe longer you keep something alive in peoples' minds, the more their wheels are going to turn on it. So if you want it to go away quietly, I wouldn't say anything. If you want people to have a reason to talk and think about it more, then definitely try to explain yourself.
Keep quiet until something is said, or tell? ... Once you tell someone it will spread like a blazing infurno. There is no such thing as secrecy. But that would also force the issue of you being transgender into the light causing you, AND your wife, to HAVE to deal with it NOW. Quiet and it may not come up until you are ready to tell. Tough choice. I never had that problem, everyone knew. If I didn't tell a new acquaintance, someone who knew me either already did, or would soon after tell. So basically, I've been 'out' all my life, so I couldn't tell you if it hurt me or not. ...Rule of thumb? If they like you now, they'll like you after you tell. Good luck!
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