Musings: It's All About Community
5 hours ago
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Mum's the Word
The input is appreciated, and it changed my direction. I was leaning toward a minimalist version of my issues to my supervisor. But the most compelling arguments all said to pretend it never happened. So, today I went in with a cheery demeanor and a chipless shoulder, intent on talking about anything but what was on my mind. And all's well so far. Thank you much.
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Leslie, I am so sorry I managed to overlook your last post. When we had our short chat last night I had no idea any of this had happened.
ReplyDeleteI think you have done the right thing so far by remaining quiet.
Something like this is bound to happen eventually when you lead a double life to long, so don't feel guilty, and don't let it stress you. If your supervisor just found it and glanced over it, he probably does think its yours. But if you are on good terms he is probably not going to tell people something that could potentially make your work environment awkward, just to get a laugh.
But I do find that what Stephanie said is true. There is no such thing as true secrecy. Even if someone you tell understands the seriousness of it and would not out you for the world, they will have two or three best friends they know they can trust anything to. And news that big is hard to keep completely to yourself. Then those people have people they are sure won't spread it further as well. Before you know it, every friend of a friend of a friend knows.
So, keep the news small enough that it is not worth sharing if you are sure you don't want people to know. Finding a book is a pretty minor story by itself, and people hearing it second and third hand may write it off. And being less newsworthy, it may not spread as far. Give them something more concrete and the gossip engine will kick into high gear.
For some of us being outed can be pretty liberating. But in your circumstances it probably is not something you need right now. So I would say unless something happens to reveal damage control is required, mum should definitely remain the word.
Leslie, I too am sorry that I am late in reading your last post. I agree with the direction you are taking. I am a firm believer in not "outing" yourself unless it is absolutely necessary.
ReplyDeleteWise comments from Ms. Shandy.
Just getting caught up here...
ReplyDeleteSeems like it was a non-issue since it hasn't come up. I'd guess that if there was chatter about it you'd see it in their Tell-Tale Heart eyes.
Keep cool, and keep working, they probably missed that one by THAT much!
Miss a day...miss a lot! Haven't been around in a few days and I'm just getting in here at the last minute too. Wow, little bit gut wrenching isn't it. I don't think I would say anything now either. Let sleeping dogs lie...loose lips sink ships. Just not saying is very different from lying. If someone confronts me I figure I have two choices...come clean or tell them it's none of their business. I think for now, "mum is the word" is the best strategy. Good Luck Sister!
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