So, the end of my six-month contract has come and gone, without a mention from the wife. Maybe she's forgotten it. Maybe she feels that I broke the agreement a week into it when I shaved my legs, and figured it was a dead issue after that. The world may never know.
It's been six weeks now since I laid down the leg razor. Still waiting for my love life to be renewed. She may be waiting for me to make the first move, but after the rejection I encountered while my legs were still bare, I find myself hesitant to initiate. Who am I kidding? I've never been comfortable initiating. She's always hated that, makes her feel undesirable. But I'm not assertive in that way. I always feared rejection to the point that it caused me physical pain. As I've let Leslie take over my thinking, I do have more courage than before, and I have initiated lovemaking a few times. But I expect that will remain a rarity. A natural submissive, I suppose.
The missus and I have yet to speak about the ugly things she said a week ago. All seems normal and loving, but I fear that may be her "pretending that everything is okay." How long has she felt this way? Why can't I detect it? I feel much more connected to my own emotions, and I think I read others better now too. But not her. Maybe I'm too close to the subject, or she just knows how to hide things from me. We could both teach each other some tricks in that field, I bet.
She says she wants to spend over $100 on a late birthday gift for me. She is convinced that I will love it, but seems to want to reveal her idea, just to be sure she's not throwing money away. I would be shocked if it is anything that addresses my Leslie-ness in any form or fashion. But I find myself with fingers crossed, hoping that maybe she is starting to realize how important her acknowledgement of my very real feelings would be. I'll share the surprise when I find out.
A wood and two roads
11 hours ago
Please do share it with us, Leslie-Ann.
ReplyDeleteIt would be wonderful if it is something that the real you would like.
love
chrissie
xxxx
Gosh, that's tough...sounds like my relationship with the wife...She hates it when I shave...which is something so innocuous now...lots of men do...but because she knows it's about something else...ah, there's the rub.
ReplyDeleteI'm keeping my fingers crossed
Well sister, I've an idea for the legs. First chance when she is in the same room, start applying Hartz Mountain Flea and Tick powder to your legs. When she ask what you are doing...just say "Well, with all this hair and the summer months just ahead, one can only expect an infestation". This will make her think!! Gawd knows what and she may call the men in the white suits (fyi, the ones who come get you don't wear white suits...those are for those at the main facility). Anyway, my ideas are usually better in theory than in practice. Use your own discretion.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I hope things work out for you. You know I'm always here for ya sis!
<3 Tina
Leslie Ann
ReplyDeleteI always had the shaving issue with my ex too. In fact, the only real solution was to not shave them at all. She (and I) never understood the significance of me wanting to, and how all my repressions were channeled into that razor blade.
I hope your late birthday gift was pleasing!