One of the first things my wife said to me this morning was, "Did you ask me something last night, or was I dreaming?" Okay, so I need to talk to her when she's alert. I mean, her eyes were open! How's one to know?
Anyway, her response to the invitation was about the same in her wakefulness: not sure. She has had a headache for two days, and the kids going back to school has her very stressed, so she'd rather not just now. But again, not a knee-jerk refusal. I think she realizes that this is important to me and a reasonable request. Meeting my friends scares her a little. That's one reason that I was pushing this. It was to be only four folks she hasn't met, one of whom is a natal woman. I was prepared to sacrifice a rare dressing opportunity, as getting them together would do far more for our emotional well-being.
My thinking is that, rather than a stressful situation, meeting my amigas will ultimately relieve her stress. Not knowing my friends makes her worry about their influence on me. Discovering that they aren't a malevolent force should help her rest easy. It's all about building trust. Knowing the parties involved is a big part of that.
All of this has become a moot point, as the plans aren't coming together. I'll likely stay home with the family, and try to figure out some other outlet for some Leslie time.
True story: When describing her headache to me today, Mrs. Leslie spontaneously broke into the chorus of Bang Bang (She Shot Me Down). I had to stifle my laughter. She doesn't read my blog, and the humor would've been lost on her. Yes, we've been together a very long time.
Musings: It's All About Community
5 hours ago
Dancing around the spousal comfort zone is never easy, is it. I think her meeting your TG friends has to be the way forwards because as you say, once she knows them she'll be more trusting that they aren't out to take you away from her. you're a little further up the road than me, however when it comes to my turn I will really want my wife to be a participant too.
ReplyDeleteIf the plans don't come together this time I hope she'll be happier about it next time.
Gee girl, a missed opportunity! You should have said that you asked if she would like to go with you to meet the girls and that she said yes!
ReplyDeleteJust kidding of course. But remember that while meeting your friends may in the end reduce her stress levels, given her history the anxiety is going to be running high leading up to it. As always, best wishes to you and Mrs Leslie.
The one time I took my SO to meet some of my friends did not work out. My SO is very judgemental and found fault with everyone there except one person. I never did ask her to go again and she never brought it up. I never did relax and enjoy myself the whole night. No matter what I said or did my SO was sure she knew what I was doing when I went out. How she knew I have no clue. I hope your situation is different than mine. Christine Elaine
ReplyDeleteLeslie, you didn't mention if your friends would be drab when she meets them. I would recommend that as the first step.
ReplyDeleteCalie xxx
Hi Leslie! I'm sorry things did not pan out. Hopefully soon though! The very fact that she considered seems progress to me.
ReplyDelete@Callie If things had worked out, the gathering would have included one genetic girl, two transgender girls in drab, just back from facial laser appointments, and one transgender girl en femme probably.