Letting Hope In

"You can make it in your disguise, just never show them the fear in your eyes"
"Stage Fright" The Band

It looks like my planets may be aligning. My wife and I had believed she would have to work Saturday July 5th. Tonight she calls me from work to say she isn't on the schedule. I didn't say it, but this means I can go to my monthly support group meeting. A minute later, she says she might go to Cincy that day with the kids. I could scarcely breathe as the possibilities swirled around my head.

Leslie might just make a public appearance if I don't have to come straight home. It might even start during the daylight hours. Maybe get my picture taken.

I feel the hope building in me. That scares me. I'm setting my self up for a crash. My wife is notorious for changing her plans at the last minute. I can get all my ducks in a row, and she might decide Saturday afternoon that the trip isn't feasible. It's happened before.

I need to stay grounded while making preparations: bleaching my arm hair, getting some wig maintenance lessons and products from Pamela, maybe see if anyone will be bringing camera equipment, choosing what I might wear. I have to contain myself, or I won't sleep for two weeks. My heart is pounding just contemplating it all.