Hey there! It's been awhile. I've decided that tonight I will stop sulking, and write down the things that are bothering me. Please keep your hands inside the car while the ride is in motion.
The girl fog has come on in a big way the last couple days. She's been hanging around the edge of the playground for several weeks, but is now on the seesaw opposite me, trying to bounce me off. I like her chances, as she is much more energetic than me.
One of my closest friends here in Blogistan is having a major life crisis, and truly, this hit me hard. Our situations are very similar, and the fact that things aren't working out for her just makes my odds seem even longer. I've been quite depressed about it. Liz and Renee have been my tag team counselors the last two nights, and I want to thank them for listening. It helped.
My legs are bare up to the knee now. It has hurt like the dickens, but the desire to be rid of the hair overrides the pain. Lots of red bumps, sometimes burning, sometimes tender. Epilating makes me happier, but there is a downside. Mrs. L hasn't noticed yet, and I'm not looking forward to her reaction. I'm not sure which would be worse, anger or bitter disappointment. It will be one of those, I assure you. You may want to place your bets now.
There is one other thing eating at me, and the fog is making it much worse. I have discovered, quite accidentally, that I have been blocked from following a blog that I had been welcome on before. I don't know when it happened, but I've not seen her on my dashboard for a long time, and just assumed that she wasn't posting. That was not the case. This is what worried me most when my blog became private, that someone would think that I was intentionally shutting them out of my site. At least, I hope that was the cause for this. I spent days hunting down email addresses for my followers, trying to get everyone back into Club Leslie. It was a fool's errand, as so many do not have any contact information. She was one of those. Yesterday, I left a comment on her blog, the only way to reach her, asking her to write to me so I could sort things out. Today, my comment has been deleted.
This should not matter so much to me. One cannot be loved and admired by everyone, yet I want to be. I don't want to let a misunderstanding cause a loss of esteem for me. This is a control issue for me, I fear. I am powerless to plead my case, and, strangely for someone that fantasizes about forced femininization, I don't like being unable to fix this.
That's what is going on here. Blessed therapy upcoming Thursday afternoon, none too soon. If I have a breakthrough, you'll be among the first to know.
Musings: It's All About Community
5 hours ago
Tag team counselor - hehehehe. I can live with that. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI totally relate to your feelings over the blog that you have lost access to. All I can say is that it's either an oversight, technical difficulties or "it's her, not you". If it's the latter, then pleading your case isn't going to make a bit of difference. You know where to find me if you want to talk this through in more detail.
Glad to hear therapy is coming up - I'm looking forward to news of any breakthroughs.
What irony, you like the cooler months when Leslie gets more freedom and I hate having to cover up and look frumpy for the winter and no doubt suffer some siring. Why do they do that!?
ReplyDeleteYou sure like to live dangerously with the smooth legs. Tell her that she did not say you could not do it, after all it is now as expected as the falling leaves.
How could a sweet thing like you get blocked? That's just not nice.
Caroline xxx
If it were me that were blocked from someone's blog, that would made sense, but I can't imagine what transgression you could have enacted that would result in that. Like Liz says, it may be more her than you.
ReplyDeleteI'm around most evenings, even until four in the morning or so, so any time you want to talk, even if it doesn't look like I'm online, feel free to shout me out. Chances are I'm there and I'll absolutely never ignore a chance to talk with you...I really enjoy it, and it's good for me too, since I'm going through my own stuff right now. It's nice to hear from my friends.
One vote for "bitter disappointment"; let me guess..."I thought we had an understanding about that". Let me know how I did when the air accelerator and the brown stuff intersect.
ReplyDeleteI was afraid my stuff would bring others down too. So sorry, but you and the rest of the population here have helped so much.
To be blocked and then ignored is very hard to understand, especially as others have said, for you, of all of us to be treated that way. It must be a terrible misunderstanding.
Big Hug!
Halle
Hi Leslie! Congratulations on the hair clearing progress.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't get too worked up about the issue you are having with someone else's blog. People blog for many different reasons. Mine has been purged, deleted, restored and emptied several times. But it is not a reflection on any of the followers or the comments that may have been there. For me it was merely an indicator of where my head was at for that moment.
Some people blog because they want an affirmation of the path they are on and anyone who follows or comments that doesn't make them feel good about themselves is going to be unwelcome. There will be a few who can't handle that.
And be careful riding that seesaw. She may be trying to bounce you down to her side and not off of it!