To Be or Not to Be

Thanks, girls. The comments helped. I see things a little more clearly now. I've spent twenty-four hours wondering how I might be able to back off my feminine quest. I've assured her that there is no SRS in my future, but she wants me to promise that I won't be springing any major changes on her. I could possibly do that, but she considers shaving my legs as a major change. We have very different ideas of major.

I've been made to feel that I should try to shove Leslie back into the box. I don't think she'll fit anymore, but that hasn't stopped me from considering it. I sure as hell won't purge, but I think I can limit myself to underdressing outside the house and support group meetings. I know if we get into couples counseling, I've got to be ready to give up some things. I need to know up front what I can offer without losing me.

I know that if I had had an affair, the trust issues would be the same, and the healing time would be just as lengthy. But I have waited so long to be where I am, the thought of retreat is weighing heavily. I need to figure some things out.