My dysphoria is surging anew, and I think I am suffering from another condition that is worsening it. I have gammus hideosum, or as lay people refer to it, Monkey Legs.
Honestly, I don't know if my hairy stems are causing the GD, or the GD makes my normal hirsuteness intolerable. Either way, the longing is strong.
I'm actually grateful for the traffic stop two weeks ago. Fear allowed me to back down off the edge. I stopped taking heels in the car, so the temptation to use them carelessly is not there. The first week was the easier one. I had my meeting to look forward to, and the preparations and anticipation kept dysphoria at bay.
The second week has been a struggle. The inevitable emotional crash of the end of Leslie time was there, as always. I have kept my longish, rounded, buffed nails all week, which has helped. But there has been no real outlet this week, and none in the foreseeable future.
I did get to talk to officer #1 again. He was out in my parking lot when I locked up the other morning. He told me that they were still after the guy breaking into cars in the area, that he's busier than ever. I'm sure the officer feels better about me, having seen me coming out of the business that I earlier claimed I worked for. Now I feel like the police know me and might be watching out for me. In a good way, I mean.
I got my tutorial about being a moderator on the TransKentucky Yahoo Group. It's not a big job, but it is a welcome distraction. The best part is deciding whether applicants are accepted or not. I have to be protective of the existing group, turning away potential predators, but I also have to keep in mind what a life saver this group has been for me, and will be for others that are reaching out to connect. That's an important responsibility, and not one I take lightly. The group is a safe place for folks like me, and I want to keep it that way.
Musings: It's All About Community
5 hours ago
I'll raise you a pair of genua scabrosus, knobbly knees!
ReplyDeleteBeing part of the local scene the cops recognise as non-threatening is a good place to be.
Oy, I have that, too!
ReplyDeleteYou'll make a great moderator Leslie. Those of us who post there can be comfortable about our privacy, and newcommers couldn't hope for a better welcome. You were the first person who spoke to me directly on the group, I think, and without your encouragement I'm not sure I would have found the strength to make that first meeting two years ago. I had so little confidence at the time.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're going through so much discomfort right now. I wish too that we had a chance to talk more at the last meeting. Chat you soon gorgeous!
Oo La! I think I finally have the Google ID thing down so here goes...
ReplyDeleteA thought for Leslie... You could bleach the leg hair? Expensive probably, but hey, it'd be less likely to show through those mahogany pantyhose next time you're chatting with the cops in the parking lot. :-)
Or if you're really bored you could try plucking every other hair just to reduce the coverage? Oh and BTW, Shannon Tina and I found a great electrolysis place - maybe they could nuke every other hair for you? The wife might never know! ROFL
Ah well, I shouldn't encourage your delinquency.
Be sure to CC me on the TransKY communiques so I don't duplicate anything you're doing. :o)
Maybe after the holiday we can find a way to break you out of prison and get you out somewhere. I hear Tina's digging a tunnel, and Shannon's been working on her origami paper tigers. I'm still trying to make up my mind about what to wear?
Be cool, sista,
Syl
I totally understand your dysphoria. I keep mine at bay by digging tunnels. *wink,wink*
ReplyDeleteUnlike Syl, I encourage delinquency. My theory is; when the rule breakers outnumber the rule makers....the world will know peace. Who's with me on this?
Oh, if you hear digging noises coming from under your house, grab your duffel bag. Help is on the way. :D
Peace Out,
<3 Tina
I'm not much for laughing in the face of another's misfortune, but gammus hideosum made me LOL.
ReplyDeleteAnd if Tina's digging, Shannon's working on her origami tigers and whatnot, and Sylvia's STILL figuring out what to wear...I suppose the only logical conclusion to this is that Terra is the one making the calculations for how large the tunnel needs to be, and I'm running late 'cause I've been burning a few CD's for the one's with more...ahem...eclectic tastes (namely you and I) on the way back. ;)