What Are These "Feelings" That You Speak of?

Nice to be back in the writing mood again. The realization that I was depressed seems to be opening the flood gates. I've been tamping down my feelings for many months, I think. This explains so much to me about the emptiness I was experiencing.

Feeling again is causing me to look at my recent history with a jaundiced and revisionist eye. All was not as it seemed. For several months, I've been involving myself in other people's problems, sometimes directly via email. I thought of it as maturing into an altruistic maternal figure in our community. While I regret none of that, I can see now that I was avoiding the analysis of my own situation and emotions. I'm sure I have "wisdom" to offer, but knowing myself better would deepen the wisdom pool, no?

At work last night, my emotions came to the forefront. The latest RadioLab episode, "Lost & Found," had me weeping at the end. Then I had a minor recurrence during the newest This American Life podcast. The last time I had cried was New Year's Eve a year ago. This speaks to the denial I have embraced.

I can sense a lighter post coming tomorrow. Not that there's anything wrong with this one.