I Feel Positively GIDdy

"Hit me like a ton of bricks, had to get my outlook fixed"
"Backs Turned Looking Down the Path" Warren Zevon

Gender Identity Disorder. GID. So my therapist has assured me repeatedly. Damn, for thirty years, I thought I was just a garden variety crossdresser. Turns out I'm a rare bird. So I've graduated from CD to TG without a ceremony, but, of course, with a gown.

GID came up again today because I've been concerned by my fluctuating feelings of femaleness (say that three times!). I've been feeling more male at times lately. I hope this isn't resignation about my current role at home. Better that it be a hormone spike (testosterone, ugh), which I can be confident will subside as I age. Or maybe it's seeing these oft-mentioned hairy limbs so much more in warm weather.

There's been a lot of conflict and emotional anguish for six months, but there's a lot of positives coming out of it, too. I've never felt more alive. I love feeling feminine, even when I'm not dressing the part. There's a contentment sometimes that I don't remember ever experiencing.

Has it been worth it? Today, I'd say yes. It's still daunting in terms of the scope of what I'd like to accomplish, but i would miss my girlness desperately if I had to return to what I was.